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 Perfect Opposites (2004)
IMDB rating: 5.70
Plot: In the Midwest of USA, the sweethearts Drew (Martin Henderson) and Julia (Piper Perabo) are graduating in the college. Drew convinces Julia to move with him to Los Angeles, where his sister Terri (Kathleen Wilhoite) lives and got a job for him. The young couple become close friends of their neighbors Elyse (Jennifer Tilly) and Lenny Steinberg (Artie Lange ), who owns a small real estate business. However, the immature Drew breaks the relationship with Julia, afraid of the consequences of their commitment.
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Directors: Cooper Matt
Actors: Henderson Martin,Winer Jason,Keegan Andrew,Lange Artie,Basco Derek,Pantoliano Joe,Paul Aaron,Drama,Romance,
What is right and what is wrong?
How do you ever really know in a marriage that the problems you have are a good enough reason to leave?? my husband and i love each other very much yet we just can’t seem to get along. we have nothing in common, i’m very social and energetic he is complete opposite. I annoy him with my energy he makes me depressed by being quite and not smiling most of the time. I mean seriosuly depressed i had to go see shrink cuz im going downhill!!! We don’t laugh, he has poor sense of humor or maybe its the language barrier that we have. He is very judgmental (because of it im scared to talk to him openly) of every one and doesn’t like to meet new people in fact he says he doesn’t even need friends, i’m enough!!! It is a great thing right?! yet we have nothing really to talk about. i mean i tried explaining to him that i don’t need quantity time i need quality time because it is always boring and the same. He believes if people don’t live life according to his beliefs they are all wrong and screwed up!! We know we are not exactly the perfect match for each other and still we cannot be without each other!!!!…. is it love or we just got used to each other and too scared to break things off?
I read tons of book on how to communicate better, starting from Dr. Phil and women are from venus, men are from mars (great book by the way helps understand alot) and so on…….i try to talk to him but he thinks its all silly and wouldn’t care. He thinks he knows better how marriage is suppose to be. he believes he got married to relax therefore he doesn’t need to do anything AT ALL, i should already know he loves me!! I Know he loves me but i don’t feel it, i don’t feel special either. I feel very lonely and down all the time. he gets home he is either on the phone for work (he works alot), or laptop or fells asleep early. I want him to notice me from time to time, give me smile hug me tell me how much he loves me, to take 15 minutes and at least pretend that what im saying is important to him. He thinks he will gain more of respect from people if he will look grumpy and "scary" all the time, is it normal?
You married the wrong man and eventually it will come to a head. I mean can you imagine living the rest of your life this way? You really need to lay the ground work to leave or you will end up all alone with no friends and a sad, sad life. You deserve so much better.
Do the right thing get out while you still have your youth and energy!
Brando | Nov 16, 2009
Well I don’t know how long you’ve been married but maybe you all have to get used to each other and maybe you all should go to counseling. Im newly married and I feel like this sometimes like we just cant seem to get along. Not for long anyways but Maybe you can sit down have a heart to heart and ask him what he’s willing to sacrifice and try counseling , maybe something is bothering him or maybe is idea of marriage isn’t yours but God puts us with who we need not who we want. Opposites attract in areas that your weak he may be strong and vise verse and that is normal to have one bubbly person and another laid back, one a little strict and another not so strict so that’s a good thing you will just have to learn to accept him for who he is and then when you realize you cant change him you will better deal with him, you cant take parts of him, all of that comes with the package so you have to work on accepting

and you both need to work on compromising

good luck
u wanted 2 know | Nov 16, 2009
If and when you’re ready to leave, it will just hit you like lightning. You’ll have a sudden and deep conviction that you can’t stay any longer, and you’ll leave. So don’t spend your days and nights agonizing over this. Although if you have children you need to think about how your marriage is affecting them. If they are living in a combat zone then you should get out so that they can regain a sense of peace. If the tension isn’t that bad and your kids are happy and well-adjusted, then I would say wait until you know what to do. If you don’t have kids, don’t get pregnant until you know where your marriage is heading!
By the way, I’ve been there. I thought and agonized and was stressed out over the decision of whether to leave or stay. It became an obsessive sort of thinking, until I just decided one day to not think about it anymore. I accepted that I was not sure where my marriage was going, and I decided to be okay with that. I didn’t think at all about leaving (or staying) and just decided to live a day at a time. I also accepted that my husband was never going to change.
Lo and behold, a few months after I accepted my situation, the day came when I KNEW it was time to leave and never look back. It was an overwhelming "get out NOW" conviction, and I am now happily divorced…
Sometimes you just need to tell your brain to take a time-out so your spirit can work things out, since it always knows best. We just can’t always hear it because our thoughts are racing so fast all the time…Hope that makes sense.
Good luck!
Shekhinah | Nov 16, 2009
Lets see he is Aquarius and your geminie . Anyway i guess opposite attract
Dads boy | Nov 16, 2009
Try to find ways to do things that are fun, not things that are supposed to be fun, together. Figure out away to enjoy spending time together. If your not happy when your together and that is what you need in your marriage, then you have something to think about, Love is all you get in life that is truly yours. My advice stop trying to learn how other people think you should communicate and try to figure out what you want to say.
John | Nov 16, 2009
Goo that you are trying your best to keep the marriage alive.
Also good that you are reading books in order to understand human mind and to find solutions to issues affecting you.
Dont read quickfix books. Such books donot discuss in detail the core of the psychological issues.
Read books on Transactional Analysis (TA) writen by its founder Dr.Eric Berne, Dr.Thomas A Harris, etc. In TA you wil understand why your husband is behaving the way he is behaving now. You wil also get to know about yourself. You wil also get to know why inspite of all these differences you married him,and why you still want to continue in this marriage. You wil also know how to respond to a situation,etc.
We usually dont look for emotional compatibility, though we say we do. Your hubay and you are not compatible emotionally.
Best wishes.
The Nice Man | Nov 16, 2009
Isn’t marriage a fascinating thing?
We get married thinking it is this great and wonderful thing when what it really is a test. A test of personal character. "Can I really love this other person even when they drive me crazy?"
You are in the same boat as 99% of most people. You got married with the intention that your husband would "complete" you. You desired things that you thought he could provide you. Now you know that NO ONE can provide those things to you. You have to come to be COMPLETE on your own! This is really called "single" which you have never been. You are still NEEDY, NEEDY, NEEDY to the nth degree. This is your immaturity shining through.
What you will find when you divorce and move on is someone else that cannot fill your emptiness either. This is why divorced people get divorced many times over. It’s not about finding "the right person". It’s about finding yourself and coming to know what love really means.
Are you are willing to find out more to make your life better?
divorcecare.com
(this is not about divorce)
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. (We now know what your love language is - what’s your husbands?)
craig b | Nov 16, 2009